Not all Scars are Visible
by Lady Cosmic Brownie
Summary: "He'd failed. Failed himself. Failed Luxa... and failed his child," a sad story about Luxa losing her first baby. T because it's a sensitive topic.


** Jeezum, I'm onna roll! First, _The Other's View_, and now this? Wow, just, wow.**

** Anyways, just kindofa 'what if' thing, _not at all related _to the Trickster Trilogy!**

**-**_Not all Scars are Visible_**-**

Gregor knocked softly at the side of the curtain, his knuckles rapping gently on the stone. There was no answer. He sighed. She had been locked up for days now, not doing anything, punishing herself. The 'retired' Warrior sat on a small stone bench nearby, and crossed his arms glumly, thinking of what had transpired just the other day that made his wife so down.

_He smiled brightly at her, letting his fingers rest lightly on her rounded stomach. She smiled a little, and took his hand in hers. She, queen Luxa, was six months pregnant. Gregor reached up, and ran the pad of a finger over the long scar from her temple to chin. She rested her head against his shoulder, closing her eyes contently..._

_ … until she snapped them back open, an odd look on her face. Her hand clutched at her stomach, and she winced slightly before letting out a small growl of pain. Immediately, Gregor was looking at her, his brown eyes concerned. A yelp escaped her throat, and he was on his feet. She said she was fine. He knew she was lying. A ragged gasp tore through her, and Gregor gathered her off their bed._

_ She pleaded with him, saying she was fine. Gregor just stumbled out of their room, and down the hall. In a matter of moments, she was almost screaming. Something was _wrong_._

Gregor sighed, feeling like he'd failed. Failed Luxa. Failed. Failed. Failed... He ran a hand through his ragged hair, and surged to his feet to try and reach her. His knuckled rapped again.

"Go away," her voice was broken, but her speaking was an improvement.

Gregor took this as his cue to enter. He pushed the heavy curtain to the side, letting it fall back behind him and cutting him off from the outside world. He searched the room, and found his wife sitting up on the bed, her eyes red and puffy, knees hugged to her chest. Gregor swallowed, and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Hey," he said softly.

No reply.

"I thought I'd..." he frowned, "actually, I'm not too sure what I'm here for. Just loitering around, I guess," his half halfhearted attempt of humor did nothing to lighten the mood. Luxa hugged her knees tighter, burying her face between them.

"You should come down and eat something, or just... something,"

"No," yes, an answer!

"C'mon, you can't stay holed up here forever,"

"Yes I can," Luxa shifted her head, and glared at him through angry purple eyes... those same eyes had been so frightened...

_The second he rushed her into the hospital, the doctors took her from him. She tried vainly to hold onto his hand, but he was brushed aside by nurses and the like. She wailed his name, and he called back, trying to follow into the hospital room she was whisked into. Nurses pushed him back, telling him to stay put. He just tried to get past them..._

_ Until Over-Protective-Big Cousin came in. Howard crossed his arms, and stood firm, shaking his head. Gregor threatened him to let himself pass. Howard didn't budge. He didn't understand! He needed to get to his wife, he had to! Gregor, in a state of confusion and desperation, threw himself at the doctor. Genuine surprise flashed over his face when Gregor lunged. He only managed to hunch over before he was knocked down by the anxious Overlander. Several nurses and other doctors rushed to grab hold of Gregor, hesitating for a split moment, knowing he was a Rager and all._

_ A brisk, growly voice yelled his name. A tail flashed and tripped him to his knees. Gregor found himself face to face with Ripred._

"Luxa..." he trailed off.

His wife did nothing, only staring at some imagined point on the blankets, her attention fixed on it entirely. Gregor scooted closer to her, and took a cold hand in his. Luxa tensed slightly, but relaxed completely when he squeezed her fingers a bit.

"Liam," she said quietly.

"Hmm?"

"Liam. I-I wanted a boy, I wanted to call him Liam," Luxa said shakily.

"A boy? Really?" yes! He was getting her to talk more!

"Yes, so he could learn sword-play, and make Ripred be his steed," the corner of her mouth twitched.

"That would be something to see," Gregor smiled slightly, "I wanted a girl,"

"Why?" Luxa sounded doubtful.

"So I could spoil her rotten, and beat boys away from her with an oversized stick. And spoil her rotten, of course,"

They were silent again, letting his thoughts wander...

_The rat frowned, and yanked him away with his tail, demanding to know what was tha matter, and why there were so many idiots crowding the halls. When Gregor told him, the rat's face fell. Ripred sat down hard on the ground, saying the only thing to do was wait._

_ Gregor was soon up and pacing, waiting, watching. A sobbing scream ripped the air like a cat's tail being pinched under a rocking chair. The warrior looked to the rat, and the rat mirrored his expression. A nurse came from the room Luxa was currently in, a tight look on her face. She told him to come with her, and so he did._

_ She spoke of the Queen's pregnancy, saying all things happen for a reason. Gregor being Gregor just told her to get to the point. The nurse looked rather irritated at his snapping. So she did get on with it, she said there were... complications with the pregnancy._

"Or Piper, I liked Piper," her voice brought him from thought once again.

"I like that too,"

Luxa sniffed miserably, and swung her legs off the bed, letting them hang off the edge. She swung a silk socked foot, letting it thump slightly on the side of the bed. Her face grew conflicted as the gears in her brain began to turn, rusty from the long pause between uses.

"Gregor?" she asked softly, her voice weak and completely un-Luxa like.

"Yeah?"

She gnawed on the inside of her lip, and wrung her hands, toying with the small band of gold and black gems on her left ring finger, "Gregor... if I cannot have children..."

Gregor caught her hands in his before she broke a finger or something, "It'll be fine, it won't matter to me, I'll still love you all the same,"

She pulled her hands away, and put her elbows on knees, head in hands, "But... that's not the point, Gregor!" she huffed, surprising her husband with the outburst, "Without children, my bloodline will die, I will have no one to give the leadership, no torch to pass! My family has ruled the Underland since after Sandwich gave them the position," she pulled her head up, "I don't want my bloodline to die with me, Gregor,"

Hmm, that did pose a problem, didn't it? Why not try to change the subject... "Wait, your family's been in power that long?"

"Of course, isn't it that way in the Overland?" she looked surprised.

"No, we elect our rulers, and they hold office either until they're assassinated, which is rare, or for four years, having the option to be re-elected for another four year period. At least, that was the way it was when I left,"

"Oh... my family were high ranking nobles in England, very high ranking, it would have been strange, or even protested, if we weren't given the role," a tiny bit of her normal, arrogant air was returning, "...but, I suppose it would all be a waste," oh no, not again. Down went her head into her hands, "I've failed,"

"Luxa, no you haven't," Gregor sighed, standing from the bed. Her eyes peeked up at him, following his movement, "there might have been... something wrong with the baby, honestly. You certainly can get pregnant without trouble... proved that awful quick," Gregor shook his head with a smile. The hint of a smirk formed at the edge of Luxa's mouth. _That _was more like it, "And, you know, it'll be fine if you can't have kids, Luxa, I'm sure there're plenty of kids without a home or family here. Who's to say we can't adopt? Your people will understand if you can't bear, you're still a hell of a leader, and they admire you for that, not your ability to have kids,"

He took her hand in his again.

"Do you think so?" she asked, her voice becoming stronger.

_When he visited her, she was staring at a wall with a blank, glassy look. Shock. He was experiencing this as well, not as bad as Luxa though. It was always harder on the woman. He did not speak, nor did he try to do anything. She would respond soon enough, this he knew for sure._

_ A small sob came from her, and he turned his head. Another choke, and tears flooded down her cheeks. It _hurt _to see her like this, and not being able to do anything. He was powerless. She sobbed again, and he sat on the edge of the hospital bed, bringing her into his arms. She clutched his shirt for dear life, crying into his chest. The shock was wearing off, and she was coming to terms._

_ They sat there, long after Luxa had cried herself tearless, staring at the wall together as they both began to think. Gregor gave a sniff, and blinked back his own threatening tears. He had to be strong if only for her. She did not speak, and he made no effort to. It felt like talking would be... wrong in a way, as if it would break some ancient law, programmed into their very DNA. Then, there was a small whisper._

_ "I'm so sorry..."_

_ But now... i_t was over, almost. There was no going back, no reload, or re-boot. It was set in stone.

Luxa gazed up at him, her eyes bore her strength in them, though specks of sadness still speckled the amethyst depths.

"I know so,"

-O-

**Weel... that's it. **

** Song: **_**My Immortal **_**by Evanescence. **


End file.
